This week in my classroom...

There are times I seriously can’t believe I have to have a college degree to do my job. A lot of times, in fact.

I had a student with a bloody nose (not uncommon) sneeze all over my morning meeting/calendar area (uncommon). It looked like a crime scene. I went through an entire container of Lysol wipes and took some things home to wash in the washing machine.

I actually said, “please quit cutting your hair again” and “we don’t wipe chapstick all over the pencils” yesterday. When was the last time you uttered those words to someone?

One of my sweet autistic students had a complete meltdown today because he couldn’t find a brand new blue Crayon in our Crayon Graveyard. It’s called the graveyard because all of the crayons in it are basically dead. No new one will be found. It was a lost cause. Did I go ahead and give him a new blue crayon out of a box? Nope. I’m trying to work on problem solving and realizing that he can’t always have what he wants. I think I’m moderately successful. The breakdowns are less often and he tries so hard to solve his own little trials. I love him.

This same student and I had a battle a while ago over a purple marker. He was making a rainbow and didn’t think the color was “purpley” enough. I showed him on the marker where it said purple but right below that it said violet in parenthesis. He wasn’t convinced it was really purple. Darn that Crayola! They only make so many shades of purple markers. My life would be a lot easier with more purple selections.

I have a different autistic student that lets me know every morning at 8:20 a.m. that because he ate breakfast that day he needs to “poop” – his exact words. Oh wait… it gets worse. After a few minutes he comes back to the classroom, works on something for 10 minutes and then comes back to me to let me know that he needs to go back to the bathroom because he’s not “done”. It grosses me out every single morning. I know it's coming but I can't get used to it.

I have a student who is going the 12 Days of Christmas for me. It’s been really fun but I’m waiting for the food. I’ve had 8 days so far and not a single piece of chocolate. It’s still fun, though. I like paperclips and clipboards too… they just don’t taste quite the same as chocolate.

One of my students came to school the other morning with a goatee she had drawn on herself with a marker. I tried all day to not notice it but it made me giggle all day long.

Every so often I have to remind the first graders that they do not have boyfriends and girlfriends, because they think they do. I tell them that they’re not old enough to drive and don’t have jobs to pay for the date so therefore they don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. One of my students piped up today and told me he had a job because he had 2 lemonade stands this summer and made money. Clearly I stand corrected.

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve said, “please get dressed” to various students this week.