Coca-Cola in my toilet...

So, is there anyone else out there that watches the BBC America show "How Clean Is Your House?" with hosts Kim and Aggie? I love it!! I've pretty much seen every episode there is. If you've never seen it (or never even heard of it) it's a show originally based in the U.K. "Cleaning Queens" Kim and Aggie go into the homes of some of the worlds filth offenders (as they call them). This season they're here in the U.S. to help out our American dirt demons. Okay, these homes are truly BEYOND AWFUL! They're downright hellish! We're talking about filthy clutter stacked chest high, mold, mildew, dishes that have never been washed, carpets that have never been vacuumed, bags of smelly garbage lying around, toilets that have never once been cleaned, bug infestations, etc. Seriously, there is no way they could make this stuff up! Anyhow, they do a total transformation to the homes by bringing in cleaning crews to simply clean it out and then clean it up. Then at the end, they do a big before and after reveal and the place always looks amazingly different. Along the way, they teach their cleaning secrets that they use. Some of them I've tried (they use Mr. Clean Magic Erasers and vinegar with lemon juice for almost everything) and some of the tips just look a little too "out there" for me. 

Their latest tip was using delicious Coke to clean your toilet. 

Picture this if you will... I was just home from work, sitting in my recliner, and drinking a caffeine free diet Coke. (my motto is this: "caffeine free after three" - otherwise I can't sleep) I was watching an episode of "How Clean Is Your House?" that I had DVR'd earlier that day. Mid swallow, I look up as the television shows Aggie dumping a 2 liter bottle of Coke into a disgustingly foul toilet and swishing it all around with her latex gloves. I almost wretched! I felt like the diet Coke I was drinking had a hint of sewer taste to it. (not like I would REALLY know what that tastes like) Aggie's claim was that the carbonation and acid from the Coke will eat through the dried on and gross crap (literally) that was plastered on the toilet, and it will become a breeze to then clean. NOT at all appetizing! (but of course I took another swallow) Then, they took the yummy moment one step further by taking pans that had been burnt on the bottom and filling them with Coke, placing them on the stove and simmering off the baked-on food - again, working because of the acid and carbonation. Totally disgusting!! Nevertheless, I sit here right now typing on my computer drinking a diet Coke and wondering if I should "feed" my toilet one too. My toilet is immaculate, but it might just enjoy the effervescent fizzy cola taste like I do. And just think of this... if diet Coke is so great for cleaning "hard to clean" things, maybe my guts and innards are in brilliantly pristine condition! 

Hmmmm.... I wonder what Kim and Aggie would say about that.

Kim on the left, Aggie on the right.

25 random things about me...

1. When I was a kid, I didn't like playing with dolls. I had them (and my dad even made me a pink cradle that rocks back and forth - which I still have) but evidently I didn't have that "nurturing" intuition in me as a child. I'm still not sure if I am "nurturing" or not.

2. I took piano lessons as a kid but dropped out. Not enjoyable! I did, however, learn to play the harmonica on my mission and can play a pretty mean rendition of "God Speed the Right".

3. I have a whopping 7 minute commute to work each day. I bought a brand new car in August and it just rolled 2,000 miles. 

4. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Cadbury Creme Eggs! It's my favorite part of the Easter season. It's like eating chocolate covered frosting!! Delightful!

5.  I am a clean freak! The house is always clean so come on over!

6. My brother, Brian, was born when I was almost five years old. From what my mom says, I hated him and she could not leave us in the same room together alone for fear that I would kill him - literally. I do remember "selling" him at the mall to an older man for $1.00. At the time, I thought I was getting the better deal.

7. I will never wear pink if I can help it.

8. I am pretty sure that I am at the point in my life where I need glasses.

9. I'm pretty good at holding on to money, but then find something big to dump it all into. (car, home improvement, trip, etc.)

10. I have a secret obsession with children's books. I horde them in my classroom.

11. I would totally marry the actor Vince Vaughn tomorrow.

12. I've always lived in Utah and never once tried snow skiing. 

13. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up and either work in a doctors office or a clothing store.

14. One of my most favorite possessions is a small framed water color of an iris that hangs in my t.v. room that my dad painted when he was a senior in high school.

15. There was a point in my life when I had no eyelashes.

16. I have always wanted to play the guitar. I've thought about buying one and teaching myself. We'll see.

17. I've never stood in anyones wedding line.

18. I don't have a favorite color, although I really prefer the color green when in comes to decorating my home.

19. I'm thinking about adopting. Ummm... maybe I should look at #1 on the list again and reconsider. 

20. Math scares me.

21. Pizza is the only thing I eat that gives me heartburn.

22. I love to jump into an icy cold bed at night.

23. I'm a very insecure person, no matter how secure I may come across.

24. I always wear the same ring and pair of earrings every day. I hate wearing necklaces, watches, and bracelets.

25. I have never been able to grow my fingernails out very long no matter what I do.

Am I a dancing queen?

So last night I went out with my friend Kelley. She and her husband have a ward calling of sorts to "oversee" the singles in their area...or something like that. They keep up with single FHE's, help to spread the word about singles firesides, functions, dances, etc. (Kelley, correct me on that if I'm wrong.) I may be single, but I avoid all of that singles crap as much as I can.

Which leads me to my next thought...

Why exactly am I avoiding it? While out with Kelley, we got into a discussion about it. Of course she knows my view of the church singles scene. (I can be a little opinionated-okay a lot opinionated) We talked about how married people seem to just want us singles to join them on the fast moving train of marital bliss, and how for the most part, those of us who are single are a-okay with who we are and our current single status. It was fun to see her point of view as a married, and maybe a little enlightening for her to hear the point of view of a single. But maybe not. Who knows. I am who I am, I'm single, I have a great life, and I'm happy. Would I like to get married? Absolutely! But for now, I'm playing with the cards that the almighty dealer has dealt to me and I am currently not holding the marriage card, which is just fine. That means it's still in the deck and could be dealt out on the next hand. It's all a game of luck.

Or it might be a game of skill...

As for the ward, stake, and regional singles dances, I stay completely away from them. I think for some people, they really enjoy them and feel like it's something to do. They're comfortable with going. I, however, don't feel that way. Why? I'm not sure. Kelley and I talked about it and I didn't have any really good answers for her.

So this morning I'm asking myself this...

Why is it that on "Fun Friday" (as we call it in my classroom) I crank up Dancing Queen by ABBA, act like a total freak dancing and parading around my classroom with my 27 first graders while wearing jeans and a black faculty t-shirt with a big giant raccoon on the back of it (yep...great mascot 'eh?) but I will not set foot into an adult dance with countless age appropriate Mormons grooving out to Dancing Queen who's shirts are raccoon free?

This is something that I seriously may have to search, ponder, and pray about. In the mean time, you will not find me at a singles dance...unless it's with 27 other singles who happen to be six and seven years old and love recess, lunch and raccoons.

Long weekend...

This picture was totally me last night

(except I had a much better bra on and Tank was camped out on my lap). Once it gets dark at night, I tend to "shut down". I love the summer because it can be 9:30 p.m. and I am still finishing up mowing my lawn and am then ready to come in and have a diet coke. But in the winter months, it's pretty dark by 6:00 p.m. and I am ready to kick back on the couch and do nothing. Hmmm... and I wonder why I always feel so sluggish and fat. 

I had a really GREAT long weekend. I felt really good and I'm not sure why. I was relaxed, happy, and felt extra "in tune" at church on Sunday. I did a lot of nothing over the weekend (henceforth the greatness of it all) but I did get a few things accomplished, aside from cleaning my house a million times (I'm slightly OCD with house cleaning). I went and saw the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" with my best friend Tiffany. It was a little trashy, but I liked it. I've read the book a few times so it made sense to me. I don't know if I would have liked it as much if I hadn't read the book. I'm glad that I'm not a person who gets THAT wrapped up in a guy - so wrapped up in what he may or may not be thinking that I go nuts. I certainly don't look for a million "signs" to figure it out. Sorry boys, but you're not THAT complex. I may quit my day job and become a screen writer. My movie will be called "We're Just Not Giving You That Much Credit" and it will have a story line of dumb boys who think they're shiftier with relationships than they really are, and the girls who aren't confused by it. I'll let you know when it will make its premiere at Sundance. 

I'll get an early start on writing my Emmy acceptance speech.

I spent Valentine's Day with Jamie, a single friend of mine. You know, the more married people I talk with, the more inclined I am to stay single. I think my "single" Valentine's Day was better than their "married" one. I dunno... it's just my observation. 

I also went to lunch with my friend, Ken. Yippee for the Paradise Bakery. I sure enjoy their BBQ Chopped Chicken Salad. Good conversation and delightful lettuce. It's win-win!

This morning, it was back to the classroom... boogers, germs, weird weekend stories, potty emergencies, etc. And you know what, coming back to work this morning was also a great part of my long weekend. That's how I know I love my job!!

One of my biggest pet peeves...

Okay. I know this is something dumb to rant about. And if any of you have one of these and my thoughts offend you I am truly sorry. But not really. I will still love you even if you have one but I will continue to dislike it and make fun of you. Here it goes... I cannot, for any reason, figure out why people insist on advertising their family by plastering vinyl figures of each member on the back of their ridiculously large cars. It's not cute. Listen... if I am driving down the road and get behind your van, suburban, mini van, or jumbo SUV, I am going to make the assumption that you are driving such an unpractical car because you have enough kids that you need it. I don't need to see in white vinyl that you have a dog, three cats, a smiling baby, a little girl who wears Mickey Mouse ears, a boy packing a baseball bat, another girl with an out of proportion bow protruding out of her head, an taller son holding a football and another girl wearing some sort of tu-tu thing, a mom with curly hair and a bald dad. Seriously, when I pulled up behind your Chrysler Town and Country, thanks for the heads up but I kind of already figured it out.

Vinyl people on rear windows annoy me. It kind of ranks right up there with parents who let their two year old ride on their lap while driving, people who are always late, liars, first graders who pick their nose and eat it, and people who blog about pet peeves.

This is how Warren Jeffs was REALLY caught!!

More pictures from the birthday get together...

Here are just a few pictures from Mondays little shin-dig...

Camille, Wyatt, and Carly helping to blow out Grandpa's birthday candle.

My brother Brian, his wife Denise, and one of their two "critters", Jake.

My dang near perfect nephew, Wesley.

My dad cutting one of the cakes.

My beautiful nephew, Jake, and my amazing sister in law Denise.

My older brother Clint, his wife Martha (expecting a baby girl in May) and my mom were all there too but almost impossible to get a picture of!! 

Happy 64th birthday!

Sunday, February 8th was my dads 64th birthday. 

Happy birthday, Dad!

Last night we celebrated at my parents house. The whole gang was there. The brothers, the sister-in-laws, the grandkids and me. Good food (thanks dad for doing the bbq-ing) and good times (gotta love having 5 kids age nine and under in the same room at the same time.) For those of you who do not know my dad well or may never have even met him, he is WONDERFUL! I truly feel blessed beyond words to have been born to and raised by my parents. Although no one is perfect (and I'm sure he's got a few untold "wild" stories from his younger days) he is pretty close to perfect in my eyes. My dad has always made sure that his children had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. My dad and mom have provided my brothers and me with opportunities that would have been out of our reach. They have made sure that we each became successful in our own ways.

Here a few known (or unknown...depending on who you are) facts about my dad, Reed:

1. He only wears button up, blue plaid, short sleeve shirts. No t-shirts, no sweatshirts, no ties, etc. Need to get him a gift? Don't buy him a blue plaid shirt because he already has every kind known to man.

2. He doesn't like chocolate. He'll eat a minimal amount (like chocolate chip cookies) but would rather die before eating a dish of chocolate ice cream.

3. He loves football and is very proud of starting on the AFHS football team when they were state champions. I think it was 1962 (?) maybe 1963 (?). Also, he coached little league football for over 20 years - long after his own kids were finished playing.

4. He only drives blue or burgundy colored trucks with manual transmissions.

5. He is a tomato and corn snob. He only eats the ones fresh from his garden. Everything else is considered inferior and inedible.

6. When he was dating my mom, he did barrel racing in rodeos.

7. Hell and damn are not considered swear words. 

8. He's very predictable and doesn't like a lot of change.

9. He is honest, hardworking, and trustworthy.

10. He loves his family more than anything. Last year I was out to dinner with he and my mom and I asked him what the best thing about his life was. He told me it was having children.

11. He is an avid outdoors man. He loves fishing, camping, and hunting.

Happy birthday, Dad! I love you!!

Here are a few of my favorite pictures I've taken of my dad over the last year or so.

My dad with my niece, Carly.

Opening Easter eggs with my nephew, Wyatt.

My mom and dad. Ummmm... are they BOTH wearing blue plaid?

Although my dad isn't a big fan of Christmas, (he's a little "grinchy") I snapped one of him with Santa. What do you think? Naughty or nice?

What's the shelf life of a chicken nugget?

So this morning, my first graders are reading to themselves and all of a sudden one of my students yells out...

"Hey, how long has this chicken nugget been in my desk?"

So of course, every child immediately runs over to his desk to see what he's talking about. There, on top of his desk he places one very shriveled, rock hard remnant of a former chicken nugget.

Ummmm.... I cannot remember the last time our school served chicken nuggets for lunch. Seriously, it's been three or four weeks.

The student was a little upset with me that I wouldn't let him eat it (gross) and made him throw his petrified chicken nugget in the garbage can. 

(But of course, I fished it out later to snap a photo.)

(actual "crime scene" photo - ha, ha!)

Hit with a dump truck...

After two nights of parent teacher conferences until 9:00 p.m. and countless days of school kids constantly coughing in my face, I am feeling like I'm losing the proverbial battle with the dump truck. I can feel some sort of  "illness" coming on. Headache, runny nose, funky ears, etc. I don't know... maybe it's the combination of never enough sleep and way too much diet coke. Or it could have something  to do with the fact that I teach in a petri dish. Who knows. Me and the big Mack truck seem to be going at it today. I think Mack might win.

Yippee for weekends, huh?

My handkerchief is bleeding...

What a way to start the day.

Student: "Miss Chidester, can I have a bandaid?"

Me: "Yeah. They're in the basket. Are you okay?"

Student: "No. I have a handkerchief on my finger and it's bleeding."

Me: "What?"

(student holds up their pointer finger in my face)

Student: "See. My handkerchief is bleeding again."

Me: "That's called a hangnail. A hangnail is where the skin on your finger rips and then bleeds. A handkerchief is like a kleenex. It's something that you keep in your pocket to blow your nose or sneeze in."

Student: "Well, call it what you want to but my handkerchief is still bleeding and I need a bandaid."

Being the GREAT teacher that I am, I put a bandaid on his handkerchief.

 

Something to live by...

Howard W. Hunter

November 14, 1907 - March 3, 1995

Thinking about my motto for 2009 made me think of the following quote. This is a small piece of a talk given by President Howard W. Hunter during a devotional in December of 1994. It was his last public address to the church. Think what a great society we would have if everyone would implement these few lines is in their lives. It's a "fridge worthy" quote to me - one to hang on your refrigerator. 

"...mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again."

Motto for 2009...

My sister-in-law, Martha, sent me an email with this picture as a motto for 2009. (this long-necked creepy woman must be using the same hairspray as I do!)

Last year, my motto for 2008 was "SIMPLIFY". I put up several things around my house that said the word to remind me to do so. If I ever had something that I wasn't sure I wanted to keep or not, I'd think about the best way to simplify the situation and 9 times out of 10 it went in the trash. Same situation in my classroom, car, and thoughts in my head. For 2008, less was more and it worked for me. I was able to keep my house immaculate, my classroom spotless, and my emotional state pretty even keeled. I let go of most of the crap life brings and simplified my surroundings. It felt good.

This year, I haven't completely decided what my personal motto for the year will be. And since today is the first of February, I'd better get on the ball. I've thought about having the motto of "BECOME" so it will encourage me to become better, become the person I can be, become more. I don't know. We'll have to see. I may keep "SIMPLIFY". It seems to be working.