You know, there are things about my life that I am not happy with. There are things I wish I could change. Things that just haven't turn out like I had expected and moments of feeling inadequate that seem to visit too often and linger to the point I wonder if I will be able to continue to breathe. I think everyone who lives on this earth can identify with this. Sometimes we just look at ourselves and wish we were someone else.
I had a great experience today. We went on a first grade field trip and I had four moms and one dad that came as chaperones. When we returned, we had about an hour or so of school left. I had one mom stay until school ended. After I got the kids reading independently, she and I had a chance to visit.
This mom is beautiful! She's from New York and could be a model. She is tall, has beautiful long dark hair, wears trendy clothes and has a perfect figure. I've thought she was great from the first time I met her. She is friendly, outgoing and has a really great personality. Today she and I got talking about her two daughters-one is six and one is three. She was telling me about how they got their unique names. I asked her if she thought she'd have any more children and she told me no. She went on to tell me that she couldn't. I told her I was sorry. She proceeded to tell me an amazing story of a journey she is on and the battle it has brought her way.
To sum it up, I would switch places with this woman in a heartbeat. She has everything going for her and is gorgeous. But then, she shared with me something that made me reevaluate my own life. It turns out, she was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago-she was 38 years old. She was pregnant with her second child, afraid she was going to die and leave her husband and young daughter without a wife or mother. Her father had passed away a few months prior to this from prostate cancer. Her cancer was in the late stages by the time it was discovered and she had a double mastectomy. Seven surgeries later, she has had chest reconstruction but at a cost. She told me about the muscles and skin that had been taken off of her back and stomach. She told me she looks like a pieced quilt without her shirt on. She told me she has another surgery next month.
Her perfect life and body aren't so perfect. I had been so quick to judge that because of the way she looked and acted that she had it all. It turns out she does. She has had it all. She has dealt with it all and battling a battle she is determined to win. She is fighting a fight that no one would know by looking at her. She is even more amazing to me now!
I don't want to be her. I would never wish for that trial and burden in my life. My conversation with her today made me realize that I am lucky to be me. Even with my own insecurities, doubts, imperfections, and problems, I will happily remain who I am and be grateful for the life that I DON'T have. I don't think I appreciate my like enough. I'm pretty grateful to be me!
That was a great post and a great reminder. Thanks for that. I needed it.
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